Oh god i'm gross

I am nothing but a big, round, wobbling mound of fat! Why why why can't I control my eating? I did so well after my last post, for 3 weeks I only consumed coffee, slimfast shakes and fruit. I went down a dress size, then BAM my period hit and so did the cravings for pretty much ANYTHING eddible, especially if it was sweet. Now im out of control. I cant even look at myself in the bath, I wash with the lights off or just a little candle light so that I dont have to look. I have no will power, no self control and no self respect. I HATE my body I HATE my job I HATE my life I HATE myself