Merry christmas everyone, hope you have all servived and hopefully had lots of fun.
I myself have put the diet on hold till wednesday, that's not to say i am binging in the sense that i'm eating everything in sight. But I am not depriving myself of anything if I want it, just sticking to the meals that my family are having. I feel good not having to restrict for a few days and having the pressure off myself, but my god I am feeling fat as a house and my inside feel dirty! I am looking forward to getting back home tomorrow night and going back to my good, healthy clean food from wednesday morning.
The last 2 days have taught me well, I have again learn't how bad I feel physically, eating like most people do without giving a thought to what is going into their bodies and I don't like it. Although when restricting I tend to crave food I should not eat but at least now I can think back to this xmas and remember how gross I feel having all this stodge just sitting in my gut and rotting me from the inside out!
if I can keep this in mind then new year should start with a big kick up my ass as far as food is concerned....bring it on I say!!!
xabbix
LilySlim Weight loss tickers
Monday 26 December 2011
Thursday 22 December 2011
not good!
So sorry I have been absent for a while, internet is down so no longer have regular access, will try to get it sorted asap.
I'm not doing great, xmas seems to be screwing me over big time, still at 112 but holding onto that by a shoe string! I need to pull myself together and start being very very strict with myself.
None of my friends seem to understand how i'm feeling, one asked me yesterday what's wrong with me? why am I suddenly so body conscious?
My mum said she can't beleive how much weight I have lost and not to lose any more! I'm only just fitting into uk size 8 so don't get what the big deal is??? and If I keep eating like I have been then the size 8 will soon be pushed to the back of the waldrobe again. Arghhh that just can not happen! new year I am turning veggie and having no more than 500 calories a day and joing the gym. Yeah I am in pain and the exercise will make it worse but it will all be worth it in the end!
Sometimes I do wonder if it's really worth the effort, if life in general is worth the constant struggle when throwing in the towel is so much simpler! I just long for the day when I can look in the mirror with feeling like a fat horrible evil cow that isn't worth the air that I breath.
I really hope you are all well and staying strong during this hard time of year
love you all
xabbix
I'm not doing great, xmas seems to be screwing me over big time, still at 112 but holding onto that by a shoe string! I need to pull myself together and start being very very strict with myself.
None of my friends seem to understand how i'm feeling, one asked me yesterday what's wrong with me? why am I suddenly so body conscious?
My mum said she can't beleive how much weight I have lost and not to lose any more! I'm only just fitting into uk size 8 so don't get what the big deal is??? and If I keep eating like I have been then the size 8 will soon be pushed to the back of the waldrobe again. Arghhh that just can not happen! new year I am turning veggie and having no more than 500 calories a day and joing the gym. Yeah I am in pain and the exercise will make it worse but it will all be worth it in the end!
Sometimes I do wonder if it's really worth the effort, if life in general is worth the constant struggle when throwing in the towel is so much simpler! I just long for the day when I can look in the mirror with feeling like a fat horrible evil cow that isn't worth the air that I breath.
I really hope you are all well and staying strong during this hard time of year
love you all
xabbix
Saturday 3 December 2011
why can't I do this?
I am rubbish at SGD,
Day 1 should have been 400, I binged and ate a huge 1200! burn't 600 on the exercise bike.
Day 2 should have been 300, I stuck to 300 but only because I had the day off and spent 6 hours with a friend so only had coffee with him and fruit at home. burn't 300 on the bike
today, day 3 should have been 400, I had a massive 1500! purged what was left in my stomach when I got home from work but wasn't a lot then burn't 600 on the bike.
I need to do better than this. xmas meal is 2 weeks away and my dress is just about fitting around my belly and thighs, I need to lose and simply can not afford to gain. Weighed this morning and i'm back up to 113, this can't happen.
A big part of the problem is work, There is food every where (today I was the cook so it was even easier to cheat myself), I just don't seem to have any self control any more. it's also that time of the month again which always make me want to eat and sweet and stodgy food in particular.
I have just made food to take to work with me tomorrow, chopped cucumber and satsumas for snacking in the morning, bean salad for lunch and chopped mixed peppers and satsuma for snacking in the afternoon-550 calories and hopefully having this to hand will stop me reaching for the biscuits and cake like today, (although I must say that the sticky ginger cake with vanilla drizzle I made today was very yummy, wish I was a crap cook, it would be so much easier!)
If anyone has any tips for keeping motivated and in contol I would love to hear them. I have a picture of a skinny girl with awsome ribs as wall paper on my phone to look at, also write all my calorie intakes on my phone through out the day so I don't lose track. Try chewing gum to stop me eating but my jaw just ends up hurting after a few hours and the acid build up in my stomach makes me feel hungry, ant-acids only help for a short time....
I'm running out of ideas.
Tomorrow I will wear an elastic band round my wrist and snap it against my skin when ever I think about eating anything I shouldn't, try to train my brain to associate fat foods with pain.
fingers crossed and I hope you are doing a lot better that I currently am with your intakes
xabbix
Day 1 should have been 400, I binged and ate a huge 1200! burn't 600 on the exercise bike.
Day 2 should have been 300, I stuck to 300 but only because I had the day off and spent 6 hours with a friend so only had coffee with him and fruit at home. burn't 300 on the bike
today, day 3 should have been 400, I had a massive 1500! purged what was left in my stomach when I got home from work but wasn't a lot then burn't 600 on the bike.
I need to do better than this. xmas meal is 2 weeks away and my dress is just about fitting around my belly and thighs, I need to lose and simply can not afford to gain. Weighed this morning and i'm back up to 113, this can't happen.
A big part of the problem is work, There is food every where (today I was the cook so it was even easier to cheat myself), I just don't seem to have any self control any more. it's also that time of the month again which always make me want to eat and sweet and stodgy food in particular.
I have just made food to take to work with me tomorrow, chopped cucumber and satsumas for snacking in the morning, bean salad for lunch and chopped mixed peppers and satsuma for snacking in the afternoon-550 calories and hopefully having this to hand will stop me reaching for the biscuits and cake like today, (although I must say that the sticky ginger cake with vanilla drizzle I made today was very yummy, wish I was a crap cook, it would be so much easier!)
If anyone has any tips for keeping motivated and in contol I would love to hear them. I have a picture of a skinny girl with awsome ribs as wall paper on my phone to look at, also write all my calorie intakes on my phone through out the day so I don't lose track. Try chewing gum to stop me eating but my jaw just ends up hurting after a few hours and the acid build up in my stomach makes me feel hungry, ant-acids only help for a short time....
I'm running out of ideas.
Tomorrow I will wear an elastic band round my wrist and snap it against my skin when ever I think about eating anything I shouldn't, try to train my brain to associate fat foods with pain.
fingers crossed and I hope you are doing a lot better that I currently am with your intakes
xabbix
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