So sorry I have been absent for a while, internet is down so no longer have regular access, will try to get it sorted asap.
I'm not doing great, xmas seems to be screwing me over big time, still at 112 but holding onto that by a shoe string! I need to pull myself together and start being very very strict with myself.
None of my friends seem to understand how i'm feeling, one asked me yesterday what's wrong with me? why am I suddenly so body conscious?
My mum said she can't beleive how much weight I have lost and not to lose any more! I'm only just fitting into uk size 8 so don't get what the big deal is??? and If I keep eating like I have been then the size 8 will soon be pushed to the back of the waldrobe again. Arghhh that just can not happen! new year I am turning veggie and having no more than 500 calories a day and joing the gym. Yeah I am in pain and the exercise will make it worse but it will all be worth it in the end!
Sometimes I do wonder if it's really worth the effort, if life in general is worth the constant struggle when throwing in the towel is so much simpler! I just long for the day when I can look in the mirror with feeling like a fat horrible evil cow that isn't worth the air that I breath.
I really hope you are all well and staying strong during this hard time of year
love you all
xabbix
In the last week and a half I gained 6 lbs yea gross uh. Sorry you are struggling too. Your comment made me think...I am 34 have had issues with food for as long as I can remember I dont mean to sound like a sinick but if you dont get help early you will never be ok. I always find something wrong with myself and I never see people at my weight when I walk though the stores I put people into two group. Larger than me smaller than me. I have no idea what someone my size even looks like because I have such a messed up body image problem. hope you get to doing better talk later.
ReplyDeleteDUDE! you are doing amazing!! Just OMG!! congrats hun. Merry Christmas.
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