I can't seem to get a handle on my emotions, or my eating or even what i'm thinking! one minute i'm crying like a baby, then i'm feeling really angry, then I don't feel anything at all, just kind of empty and numb. And as far as food is concerned, I know what I want to do, what I should be eationg to keep loosing weight but I can't seem to stick to it. lately i've been eating around 1000 calories instead of the 6-800 I planned to stick to, and other days i'm breaking 2000. I haven't exercised in over 2 weeks because my sciatica has flaired up so just walking is painful, and i'v been purging so much that now my stomach is being a bitch and holding onto the food making it so difficult to get even half up!
I seem to have maintained my weight over the last 2 weeks, still 112lbs but that's not good enough, I need it to go down and quickly. on the 17th december I have my work xmas meal, in a restaurant full of poeple, having to consume a 3 course fucking meal!!!!
ok I have picked my menue
*goats cheese salad
*monkfish in white wine sauce and veggies
*chocolate chip sundae
I have a size 8(uk) black and white dress to wear, will take a pic nearer the time to show you all if you like? It is now a bit baggy on top but just fits around my bum and thighs as these are my biggest problem (big in every way) but I feel like I need to be thinner, a lot!
any tips on fast weight loss with out actual fasting? fasts just lead to major binges and I can't afford to take the chance this close to the meal.
And on the medication front....I stopped taking the pills from the doc after just 3 days, They made it near on impossible for me to work as I felt drunk and like my head was working 30 seconds behind the rest of my body, and oh my they made me eat and eat and eat, nothing saticfied me and I had zero will power, think that's why i feel such a mess with food now because they destroyed my tolorance to hunger and killed my ability to restrict. he said to go back in 2 weeks to let him know how i'm getting on but naughty me isn't going back unless i'm dragged kicking and screaming. Not taking the chance of anything, chemical or other taking away my drive to lose weight
I want to be super skinny, I want to be light as a feather, I want to be barely here!
Just keep pushing girl, you can do this! I did a thing where I would have coffee and tea to drink all day, and I could eat as many green apples as I wanted all day ( I usually had 4-6 small ones) and I had a salad of tomatoes and lettuce and light italian dressing (200) for lunch. It was so easy and I never felt hungry or weak. I lost 11lbs in 10 days :) You should definitely check it out. Also try the ten day challenge. It's similar really easy and gives amazing results. Here's the link http://proanalove-sunshinechild.blogspot.com/2011/08/10-day-challenge.html
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